 It’s important to really get this “Ideal Woman” concept because she is such a predominant force in the female mind. She rules you, unless you can notice her and have a distinction between her and you. You see she is a real bitch. She criticizes you constantly and only throws you a bone every so often just so you keep her around. You see, men don’t have this ideal woman. Men compare themselves to REAL people who actually exist, to make them better. For example, a man who plays basket ball might compare himself to Michael Jordan and say to himself “I want to be as good as Michael Jordan so I’m going to strive for that.” They don’t have an ideal woman say “You’re fat. You need to lose 15 pounds.” and then when you do lose 5 of those pounds say “Yeah 5 pounds….why haven’t you lost 15 already?!” and then once you finally lose those 15 pounds she says “That’s pretty good (The bone) but you look pretty flabby, you better tone up!”
Can you see her? If you want to really hear her, take 5 min, and ask yourself the following question and duplicate the exact words, tone, and enunciation, even accent, of the voice in your head. It’s fine if there is no response to a question, or “nothing”. Just move on. Notice if you are avoiding a question and tackle it.
What’s wrong with my face?
What’s wrong with my body?
What wrong with the way I think?
What’s wrong with the way I eat?
What’s wrong with the way I treat men?
What’s wrong with my car?
What’s wrong with the way I drive?
What’s wrong with the way I work?
What’s wrong with the way I listen?
What’s wrong with the way I receive?
What else is wrong with me?
Great! What are some of the things you heard? Whatever came up is perfect. Now can you see her? Can you picture her? Now the bad news….. she doesn’t ever go away permanently. But you can send her on vacation or lock her up for a while when she shows up. I like to picture my ideal woman sailing off on a cruise. I tell her to go enjoy herself, have a glass of champagne and tell her to get laid while she’s at it so maybe she won’t be such a bitch when she gets back. Some of my friends like to lock her up in a padded room. Whatever works for you is fine. Just be aware of her. Recognize and notice her when she shows up. You don’t have to listen to her. She is not you. You are perfect, whole and complete, just the way you are. Like a piece of art that some people enjoy and admire and others may not get. I recommend you start treating yourself like a precious piece of art. Preserving and taking care of yourself for all to admire.
We compare ourselves to the ideal woman because we think that if we’re the ideal woman they’ll become her as well. Can you see it?
Then what we continue to do is punish them or ourselves by criticizing, withholding something, like love, sex, etc. or we interrupt them when they are speaking, we may do the “eye roll”, the “tisk”, or the “cough”. We might do all 3 all together. Any of these actions is disempowering or diminishing to a man. It takes the wind out of their sails.
You can compare this to a dishwasher and a laundry washing machine. Both of these have the same end result for the correct usage. They get stuff clean, right? Try sticking your dishes in the clothes washer, and they’d be destroyed. You need to make sure that you are using the correct tools for your goals. Comparing your man to the ideal woman and acting accordingly is like putting the dishes in the laundry.
