The quality of your connections with other people will carry you further than you think. My husband and I have a created possibilities in our relationship that we are commited to and we tell each other that the possibilities that we are creating with each other is to be loving and connected. When we get into heated discussions and one or the other stops being that possibility, we will gently ask the other, “Are you being loving and connected in this moment?” Then, what usually happens is that we are not, and immediately revert to being loving and connected to finish the discussion. Sometimes, one of us says no and I don’t really feel like being that way right now, but usually, it’s the other way around. We don’t fight or argue all that often, and having created these possibilities is part of reason why.
The reason we’re with the people we’re with is often because we admire and love them. If we can come to all discussions with love and a connection, then you will be open to their side of the story, realizing that they’re someone with strong opinions and a good outlook. Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder that we love, respect, and want to be connected with that person, for us to come around. Try it, and let us know how it worked for you!
